WARNING: If you cannot stand the “stream of consciousness” style or that likes, I’d suggest you give up now.


Seriously cannot concentrate on anything, and don’t know what is up with myself!
Don’t know myself. I know. Do I?
Guess that, I really am not much of a Science person. There are so many things about self I cannot put a why upon.
Ah-ma(aka XY) once commented that I tended to be out of touch with reality. I suppose. Language is my sanctuary.
One most prominent singular thing that I cannot explain.
Languages entice me. Okay, maybe not all languages. I would not deny I am tone deaf (Hey, what do you expect of someone who had to feel the vibrations of her instrument in order to play the correct note?). So music is out.
But other languages…even those I did not learn…even dialects……
Somehow, in a way of another, I just have this impulse to want to understand them whenever I hear.
Sentient, that in no way am I the best at both languages. But amongst all subjects, I have the most interest in them.
Language, I meant Literature.
No offence to anyone, and contrary to what many may claim, I would not consider GP or its Chinese equivalents as “language”. Not to deny that they do not utilize the subject in mention; just that they focus too much on facts.
Real language, to me at least, is something that one could drown in; ought to be capable of removing the reader from his or her world, into an avatar within the story, to experience all the tension and turmoil, to cry and laugh as they will, in the world of their own.
Yet another sentiment unable to comprehend.
Forgive my terminologies. This individual had never been examined on literature in any form remotely resembling “advance”. Then again, it is more on language that I now type about.
The same rule withstanding for songs.
Tend to focus more on lyrics, than on music.
No matter, “哪个逆风扬鞭/剑指狂沙/百步射落霞”, or be it “婆罗幽梦/落樱葬千夕”.
They never failed to evoke my imagination.
Often tried to imagine, what exactly goes on in others’ minds…how, and what, would their subconscious selves be working, when they were not (or claim so) thinking. So far it had yet not to get my brain tangled up in one huge muddle.
I surmise, never was good at categorizing……
Ha…I’ve typed so much already…never did keep track of this.
Once again, if you cannot follow my stream of consciousness, don’t worry, just ignore what you can’t and take in what you can.
Me and my language fetish.
That will be how much you get to know me.
Or maybe, it’s just because I don’t understand myself.

Labels: angst, emo, fustration, random, reflections