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Name: XS Age:......(a woman's age is her greatest secret) Gender: *points above*

Friends^^

09S72 * Huilin * Xin Ying (aka Ah ma) * CLL (09S72) * Cherntze * Qiuhan * Yanjie * Zikeng * Kai Ren * Preston * Jingjing * My art blog * 异喻之园 * Link * Link *

My heart's desires

1. Genectrols (D-generation) [a story I'm working on fictionpress.com]

2. Able to keep my results up-to-par

3. Find some time for drawing

4. Hope the mangakas that are causing me so much anguish with their unfinished works would update ><

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Sunday, November 29, 2009

夜深人静,突发奇想,就让我在此感叹一下吧!
头悬梁,锥刺股,说白了就是古人的self-mutilation
正所谓天下文章一大抄,文坛是世界大同的预兆("to be or not to be" vs "to劈or not to劈"是经典)
最可怕的,不是死亡,而是永无止境的寂寞
最不好受的,往往是那个被遗留下来的人
追逐着,却不知道目标在何方,才是最迷惘的
两个不同世界的人,若一方想要靠近另一方,注定是多情被无情伤
曾经,只会随着感情,愈飘愈远
不明白,最无奈
历史,是让人来郁闷的
在资深(骨灰级)TRN/FN/TRL的眼中,雄性只能被分为四个等级
我常常不知道自己在打些什么,包括这一句话……

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xsy at 5:57 AM

Friday, November 27, 2009

Was out yesterday with XY, HL & Char for a farmaly-五缺一 outing.
年少,轻狂。
Met up at AMK Hub at ~10.45am, starting off the day^^

Sad to say, at first it was really 冷场...couldn't really remember when did we start to get high...I guess temperature rise is something gradual X_X

Anyway, half-way through, XY & I started 疯狂反串彪歌ing。
There wasn't much of a choice anyway, since my favourite songs by female artists are basically non-existent in the song list ToT

我个人是比较心水古风歌曲:
心然的歌基本上都很爱;记得当处接触《子陵·周郎顾》的一个游戏mv,我口水那个飞流直下三千尺啊!
然后还有墨名棋妙的《且试天下》(XY介绍的;还真得谢谢她)
艾草的《醉花容》
吴琼的《故人叹》
甚至,比较“流行音乐型”的,卓文宣的《长衣袖》都米有啊啊啊!!!

As for English songs, NONE of Within Temptations...seriously, for the title "Angels", there were not less than 5, and not one is the one I wanted ><
Not only is there no Within Temptations songs, I couldn't find any song by Krypteria too x_x
Nor was there "If You Still Believe" by Elsa Raven ToT......

郁闷。

It appears that XY's taste of music is close to mine, at least in the aspect of Chinese Songs...
like 《天下》by 张杰
《稻草人》by 林志颖
《诀别诗》by 胡彦斌
we had wanted to sing 《潇湘雨》by (套用XY的话)某个长相实在抱歉但确实油菜花的歌手;a pity there were only other versions avaliable.

...while HL's & Char's are similar, EXCEPT
HL! Never realised that you were this kind of person o_O!
LG songs! XP

果然,人,不可貌相。

Finally, towards the end, we managed to grasp the idea that to get high you've got to get some EXTREMELY high songs.
the results?
《第一天》、《Super Star》、《恋爱ing》and a couple of other songs I can't name......
Cause: high songs
Effect: us jumping about on the sofas...even the supposedly年老不宜剧烈运动的ah ma(XY) joined in the fray.

PS: The Hainaese Chicken Rice Tasted very good (ah ma, let me guess, 你又幸福得像上了天堂了吧?*Sighs* the knack for [cooked]chicken)

Ending our Kbox session, we went for the movie.
"A Christmas Carol", in 3D
The movie was quite fuzzy at certain intervals...I suppose it's technical problem......
Nice effects, I especially like it when Scrooge was flying about with the ghost of the Christmas past (anyone who read the novel should have an idea what I'm saying ^^), which combined with the 3D effects, gave me the feeling of flying around in a cockpit of something*squeals*....... (Forgive this fangirl, acting all hyped-up)
That reminds me...before the movie, we passed by the arcade by the cinemas.
Guess what...they recently added these GUNDAM COCKPIT STIMULATORS!!!!!!!!!
**** ROX!!!!!!!!!*screams, asphyxiates and faints of excitment*
Didn't try out, cos
1)I seriously don't know how to play one X_X
2)It's really ex.; S$5 per play x_x

Guess I shouldn't talk anymore about the movie...since most people don't really like spoilers......
But before I end...
I WANT TO WATCH AVATAR!!!

To end the day off, we went Hendersons' for Ice cream.
We ordered some "package" with 5 scoops, so each of us chose a favour and XY helped us choose the final favour.
MF, we miss you.
In the end, the different favours got so mixed up we didn't know which is whose...LOLX
BTW, I ordered rum and raisins...and it tasted as if there were real alcohol inside.
Alcohol...Underaged...you get the idea*haha......*

Well, that was basically it, for our Farmaly-Day-Out^^
MF, don't you regret not joining us? LOLX
XY&HL, do add on in your blogs^^

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xsy at 4:33 AM

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Yeah, I know this chapter is quite short......
A little short of time and ideas...so please just bear with me ><
The next chapter ought to be much longer...LOLX


Genectrols: D-generation [Phase 3]

“Asuna…maybe you want to ask Jeriko about it once we land?” He knew that was a redundant sentence; he just wanted to break that suffocating silence.
“Yeah…duh…Kelar! You read my thoughts AGAIN?!”
“Hey, we’re twins, what do you expect?”
“But seriously, what happened to many years ago?”
“Who knows…history itself was never complete……”
Silence once again reigned, as their trip back to Erra was muted once again……

For the first time ever in his existence, he felt…trapped.
A word so alien, he never knew how to savor.
Even after his first trip into the endless space, he never felt such a sense of…confinement.
It was just…this time…something set the trigger.
He wanted…Escape.

Erra, Central Planet, Palace.
As it had decades before, the majestic building shone in full glory, towers rising to overlook the landscape, as if the years never had any effect on it.
The guardian of Erra.
In one of the living quarters, four figures stood, staring out into the morose skies of this artificial planet.
“Clones, no? First it’s Genectrols; now that people finally start to accept us, there’s clones.” It was the dark-skinned boy with chocolate hair that first exclaimed.
A.F. 920, Helluw started the project on creating supernatural humans, with enhance hearing, sight and reflexes.
A.F 924 circa, the first of these “enhanced humans” was produced. Genectrols, they were called, characterized by the slightly pointed ear tips.
Helluw subsequently carried on with the project, genetically altering more and more zygotes, turning them into powerful biological weapons.
Eventually, A.F. 925, the facilities were destroyed, and the project halted.
A.F. 940, official end of the Universal War. Only 4 known individuals survived. Four mistakes that Helluw made.

Lanse Josa and Syvanna Vanda-Josa, now Emperor and Empress of Erra, parents to Kelar and Asuna.
Conda Susaka and Leera Josa-Susaka, King and Queen of Tahale, parents to Leonda.

“I cannot be sure if it were as simple as a cloning project, or is there more to it.” Death Saint, otherwise Jeriko Okiyo, was the name of the navy-haired male. Being the oldest amongst the group at a grand old age of 17, he knew much more about the past than the others.
Or perhaps, the unwillingness of the citizens of Helluw to talk about the past only ignited his interests in this forbidden field.
Humans had always been curious life forms, genetically modified or not.

“Kranyon Taruk…that’s a long story. I suppose we’d better start from the beginning……”
Finally, Jeriko started answering to the twins’ enquiries.

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xsy at 6:16 AM

Saturday, November 21, 2009

年初写的一篇作文;不知道怎么地,今天突然想起了它,所以就码上来了^^
得分不是很高,因为本来要我们写抒情我却写成了小说,但觉得情节自己喜欢,所以嘛……

皇族之间的斗争,犹为残忍。出生皇家,虽有锦衣玉食,却也是一种悲哀。


雨中感怀

秋风萧飒,秋雨凄凉……

马上,就要入冬了吧?看着满院的萧条,他疑惑。自己,不知到底撑过了多少个这样的春秋呢?
很久以前,听母后说,自己也出生在这样的时节;那已是太久以前。
不禁回想起过去,却又不愿去回忆。不敢。
他怕,无法承受;怕,一旦看清过去,自己会崩溃。

他隐约地知道,自己的童年中,曾经有过那么一个冬天,自己无忧无虑地在溢着浓郁香气的梅花雨中玩耍。
只是,不平凡的出身,意味着这种天真,不可能持续到永远。
出身东宫的二皇子,当朝皇后的长子。他被告知,自己注定要成为太子、帝王。

然后,是那个春天。
他亲眼看着母后被押入冷宫。
家族势力被拔除;她,成为了废后。他唯一的哥哥,被立为太子。
初春,寒风刺骨,细雨飘零。
母后的眼泪。一滴,一滴,洒落;或许,是为自己成为政治的牺牲品而感到悲哀吧?他不晓得。
他只知道,那是自己第一次感觉到了恐惧。
潜意识中,意识到,母后,或许不能再像过去那样保护自己了。
周围的人,对他们母子突然地冷淡了起来。原本对他们言听计从的人,现在却是尽给他们白眼。
六岁,他尝到了从云端跌到谷底的滋味。

还有,那个夏天,皇族的孩子们常在一起戏耍。
不论什么游戏,他从来没有输过,亦从未成为赢家。
他已太清楚,身为皇子,过早地锋芒毕露,只会成为众矢之的,招来杀身之祸;然而他输不起。在母后被废黜后的那些年中,十二岁的他,早已长大,已懂得掩饰。
只有这样,才能保全自己与母亲的性命。

终究,还是枉然。太子的母亲以恶毒的手段杀害了父皇当时最宠爱的妃子后,嫁祸于那个曾经的皇后。
狂风雷暴,大雨倾盆。
闪电划破长空之际,他目睹了不堪重刑折磨的母后,饮下了那杯鸩酒。
没有流泪;心,却在淌血。那一秒,他学会了恨,亦学会了残忍。

悲戚瑟秋,他借一次围猎,亲手射杀了太子,他那温柔儒雅的哥哥,只为夺得太子之位。
权位,他不稀罕;但他想要活下去!他知道,若自己不先下手,那么太子的母亲必然会将自己逼上绝路。
于是他顺带地将那女人卡死,作为自己的生日礼物。
深宫中,栽赃,轻而易举。

朦胧秋雨之中,面对父皇斥责的目光,他不以为意。在母后逝去的那一夜,仇恨已蒙蔽了他的双眼。

漫天飞雪的寒冬,他杀父、弑君、夺权,只因他得到情报,父皇将另立太子。
赌注太大,他输不起。所以,宁可错过,不可放过。
他从没后悔过自己的决定…吗?
他并不在乎得到天下。甚至,他不喜欢这个天下。
只是,出生皇家,意味着不登上帝位,便只有死路一条!

十六岁那年,他登基。因利益关系,他娶了宰相之女为皇后。
而后,对于自己的兄弟,甚至一些姐妹,不是满门抄斩,便是全家流放;拔除朝中重臣的势力,废黜皇后。
残暴,和父皇的所作所为很像;他知道,却不以为然。
心,早已麻痹。

只是,不同于自己的父亲,纵然嫔妃、子女无数,他却从来没有爱过任何人。
不是不会爱,而是不敢爱。儿时的一切,让他不由得担心,无法保护好自己最爱的人。
不把心交出去,就不用担心心碎。

在外人看来,他是至高无上的伟大君王。
只有他才知道,自己的感情世界,一片空白。
高处不胜寒。

史书上记载的,有明君,亦有昏君。
只是,究竟有多少位君主,是被记载成有血有肉的生命体?
不能错,一失足则毁天下;他们的感情,他们的挣扎,有太多的被掩埋,流失在历史的长河中。

宫廷,表面上富丽堂皇,实际上却是最阴暗的地方。
口蜜腹剑、勾心斗角,太多太多……

“呵!若无情,若冷血,要这天下,又有何用?”仰天长啸。
为何,这秋雨下个不停?为何,短短的四十年不到,却感觉,仿佛已过千年?
为何,分明在回廊之中,却如入冰窟…不…自己何时,已来到这充斥着血腥杀气的冷雨当中?
“若有来世,只愿,不再生于帝王家!”霎时,眼前一黑。

瘁死。
“皇上驾崩!”

次日,太子即位。又一轮回。

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xsy at 9:31 PM

Tomorrow's GSC already......
Feels really ill-at-ease; so I did what I always do when I feel unsettled: Write some random stuff!

Below is what I came up with this time.
Hopefully you can tell that initially I meant it to be a poem XP:


Ghost of a whisper, faint as if unheard
Strangled cries, silent screams
Fury, towards this world
Like hurricane, threatening to engulf


Please stop telling me not to cry
Don't force me to bottle up everything
Not everyone can, be alright
Simply talking over their troubles and worries


Don't always tell me to be brave
To take care of others, to initiate
You seem to have forgotten, right from the start
I've once had, an immature heart


Is adulthood truly that great?
For everyone to wish me to grow up
If being mature, means to give up my true self
To hide all that I feel, I'd rather not


I don't want to be strong, be responsible for all
I would like more chances, to be by myself
So please, don't tell me not to cry
Just this time


Give me a chance, to be emotional
Just let the tears trinkle, unhindered
To let out all that's pented up within
Please see past all that illusion
Of what society turned me to be

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xsy at 9:21 PM

Monday, November 2, 2009

Cannot really recall much, except that it was in Secondary 2, when I first encountered and fell in love with Gundam SEED, and subsequently Gundam SEED: Destiny. This saga ultimately drew me into the world of Anime.

I never knew what really infatuated me at that instant, but I am placing a guess that it is the storyline.

Friend VS Friend.

Childhood friends, growning up together, spliting up, reuniting 3 years later, only to find the other on enemy fields.
Dueling one another, against their will.

SEED, it gives one the sense of powerlessness. In the face of a changed world, so much, is not in an individual's control.

Then occured the climax. Kira killed Nicole; Athrun, Tolle.

Makes one wonder, which "friend" will the two of them choose. The first time, and probably the only time for Athrun,that the two of them went all out to kill one another. At that point, it was highly possible, or to many, even apparent, that their firendship is progressing to a heart-wretching dead end.

Then there was the relevation of Kira's identity as the Ultimate Coordinator, his battle with Le Creuset. There was this constant fear that he may follow the path of Treize(Gundam Wing).

Gratefully, SEED ended as a happy ending, at least to me. Kira and Athrn finally reunited, safe and sound, as friends.

Kira and Athrun. What really touched me was how their freindship prevailed through all.

Yet SEED gave me the impression that it was only Athrun who was working hard to keep their friendship together.
In SEED, Athrun first lost his mother to Bloody Valentine.
By defecting Zaft, he had to face up to the quarrel with his father, which ended up with him getting shot.
Because of GENESIS, he lost his father at the end of the SEED series.
By the end of SEED, he was the one who literally had no family left.
Despite all these, amongst the four main characters, Athrun is the one who really kept everything to himself (Cagalli cried on Kisaka, Lacus on Kira, Kira...there's just so many people avaliable)Guess that's what really made my heart go all out to him......
The only time that he ever showed his sorrow in front of others, from my perspective, was when he tried to self-destruct Justice Gundam in GENESIS.
It was, as if, he had given up on the world......

Kira...indeed, he had to take up the psychological burden of being the Ultimate Coordinator, to "save the world".
Yes, his biological parents, the Hibikis; but be reminded that he still has his twin sister Cagalli(and its not as if the Yamatos treated him badly)
But throughout the series...he was trying to protect all aboard the Archangel, all his frineds there.......
And when Athrun returned with an injured shoulder after confronting his father, how much concern did Kira show?
Throughout the series, it was always Athrun "mothering" Kira(even commenting to Cagalli that Kira loves to cry)...as if, Athrun needs Kira and doesn't want to lose him, but the feeling is not mutual......

That's why Destiny episode 43 was so appealing to me.
Finally! Kira showed some obvious concern to Athrun's well-being(after Athrun fainted in the Infinite Justice cockpit)
In SEED, Athrun was the more mature one between the duo(though I suppose he was forced to grow up; but does it matter?); Kira was the fragile type, ultra-sensitive and very easily hurt emotionally.
In Destiny, Kira appeared alot more mature (and to my dismay, alot more insensitive, at least towards Athrun); Athrun...he was not fragile or anything of that likes...just...Lost. Doesn't know what he wanted to achieve, unsure of what to do......

Many have commented that Destiny's plotline is a far cry from SEED, a shadow of its preceder. I am afraid that I must agree. The overall plotline of Destiny is indeed feeble. Nevertheless, with regard to the friendship between Kira and Athrun, SEED won't be complete without Destiny, and vice versa.
SEED displayed the challenge their friendship faced; Destiny provided an epilouge, a conclusion, on how their friendship evolved with time......

Kira Yamato...Athrun Zala......
KA不可逆!
So what if Kira is the crybaby? Athrun's the one that really needs taking care of!

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xsy at 8:11 PM

昨天,(略)读了一遍《朱雀》(BY:卡门)

涅磐、重生。永恒、无奈。看完后,真的郁闷至极。凤凰梓童、青凰羽盈、彩凤丹莹…或许,甚至雪凤朝歌…经历各不相同,但却有着同一种悲哀。

他们的无奈,在于永生。长生不老,多少帝王的梦想?然而,真正永恒的生命,注定孤单。

凤凰,不死鸟;生命结束后,将会涅磐重生。

然而,可说讽刺的是,它(之所以用“它”,因为凤凰雌雄同体)却又是有感情的。永恒,足以让多少身边的人离它而去,让它有多少次失误的机会,容它犯下多少次不可弥补的错误?永无止境。

作为飞禽的一族之长,它又何曾能够随心所欲?曾经,可说是一意孤行过,可短短“一天”幸福的代价,却是全族的沦陷。

凤凰强大,可与强大的龙族抗衡;然而与之而来的,却是可称之为排山倒海的责任。

没有选择、唯有背负。

命运注定,一生的束缚……


朱雀子绯、朱雀彤。

其无奈,则更倾向于,追逐认可,却永远也抓不到自己想要的。

子绯,无可否认,它确实爱羽盈,也爱上了天寒。

但最终,羽盈却仍然下嫁龙族;嫁给了天寒。

挑起族长的担子,却无法胜任。

毕竟,朱雀在飞禽中地位、能力仅次于凤凰。“仅次”,却已相差不少。

彤,它用尽心思,不过是想获得如凤凰般的力量,得到大家对于“朱雀”作为一个独立体的认可。

然而,讽刺的是,“朱雀”的存在,本身就是凤凰的一部分,凤凰的一个别名。

天寒对它好,不是针对他“朱雀”。而是透过“朱雀”,看到凤凰的灵魂。

表凤凰,里朱雀。别人看到的,只能是凤凰。

无论怎么努力,它始终不可能与凤凰齐肩……


天帝常俊,青龙天寒……

对于凤凰的迷恋,是他们最大的错误。

常俊强横,遭到凤凰的拒绝,间接造就了他挑起一切纷争。

天寒太天真、不若其父果断,间接地加深了凤凰、朱雀的悲剧。

对龙族不太感冒,所以也不多写了……


整个故事,严格来说,没有哪个人是“错”,亦没有谁“对”。

错误的时局,不应相逢的身份,不该相交的命运……

种种种种,促成了这个错综复杂、环环相扣的阴谋时局……


或许,就因局势太过复杂,所以才会喜欢白虎冯这个家伙。

所有朱雀所接触的人物中,或许,唯有他,才能给彤其所想要的。

在冯眼里,彤就是彤;他不会一提到朱雀彤,就会将其与凤凰联系起来。

唯有白虎冯,在结局时,能将朱雀彤带离一切纷争,让它,有一个自我……






*笑*

以上一切,皆一时兴起所想。或许,还会再想…更多……

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xsy at 8:03 PM